FALLING IN LOVE

I have tried to hide this for so long,
But with every single sunrise it grows strong,
You have been part of almost all my fantasies,
And I kept quiet cos I didn’t want you to see me as someone full of fallacies.

Thinking about you before going to bed has become a trend,
Picturing your face when I wake up in the morning makes me wish we had time to spend,
You might be a little too complicated sometimes,
And you piss me off but still my anger sublimes.

I sometimes think that I hate you so much,
But even if I convince myself my actions show much,
I don’t know how it’s possible to hate,
Yet find the same person to be your heart’s bait.

I knew you had feelings for me,
I felt it but hid it like a blea,
Why? Because I wanted you to utter those words,
And I wanted you to finally open those buds.

I am not good at telling people how much they mean to me,
But I’m good at showing them that my heart is the right place to be,
I know it’s evident that I have feelings for you,
But my main dream is for the two of us to have a future bright and blue.

Whether we will be together or not,
Whether we will be single or will have tied the knot,
One thing remains absolutely clear,
No matter how far you are,you’ll always be near.

By Queen Edel

MY DAD

I walked into my room,
And the air smelled of doom,
I sat down with a book,
But couldn’t avoid a worried look.

In the living room I heard voices,
Followed by even louder noises,
Mum let out a loud scream,
That made me think this was a terrible dream.

I heard my bedroom door banged,
And I immediately knew this day was danged,
I crawled to the farthest corner,
Knowing that if I ever survived this day I’d need a blood donor.

Dad stormed in looking like a complete stranger,
His fury was like that of a vengeful ranger,
His eyes were redder than beetroot,
And his breath smelled of soot.

He pulled me by the collar,
Of my blouse that had a drawing of the solar,
And hissed with a voice so hoarse,
Though I still couldn’t figure out the cause.

From a distance I heard sirens,
Whose combination made me have migraines,
Without warning he dropped me to the floor,
And quickly rushed towards the door.

Unfortunately he was too late,
Since the police were already past the gate,
He gave mum one big blow,
And ran straight into the arms of the law.

It’s been two years now since he was arraigned,
And six months since I was deraigned,
In the battle against drug tolerance,
Because it was the main cause of violence.

I wish he’ll pay for all this even though he’s my dad,
Because the thought of everything still makes me sad,
I have to help make the world a better place,
And say no to the misuse of a gun and a mace.

By Queen Edel

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

There are times I have felt as if I had reached the end of the road.Times of hopelessness and discouragement.I am pretty sure everybody has felt that way at some point in life.Personally,I’ve had times that I wish I could disappear from the face of the Earth,take a break from everything and just recharge.One of the most common questions during one of those times is,”what do I do?”

1.Pray

Prayer is the number one way of recharging and feeling better during your low moments.Just the thought of Someone listening to you and always being there for you can revive your joy.Prayer is the only way we get to express ourselves to Someone who doesn’t judge us but is always willing to help us overcome whatever we are going through.It is the only way you get to entirely pour your heart out to Someone who won’t go behind your back telling everyone what you said.It is talking to a Best Friend and a Father at the same time and what’s more soothing than that!

2.Music

Over the years, I came to realize that good music excites the soul while sad music can bring back painful memories from your past and completely drain you.When you are down,choose what you listen to wisely because adding salt to the wound is not a good idea.I personally listen to emotional worship songs,cry my heart out then slowly move from emotional to energetic songs and just like that,my mood changes.We all have our preferences;mine is uplifting music that reminds me that I am loved by the Perfect Love of Jesus.

3.Movies

Again,we all have our preferences but I have seen this work for me so many times.A comedy movie has made me laugh and forget my sadness as much as a Christian movie has reminded me so many times that I am never alone.Personally, whenever my relationship with God felt strained,a good Christian movie would always bring me to my knees.Be careful what you watch during your low moments because we don’t want to make the situation worse.

4.Hobbies

We all have different things we enjoy doing which cheer us up.It could be dancing, singing, cooking, painting, drawing, writing and many more.Writing is my number one way of feeling better because I get to write down the things I can’t say.Focusing on a hobby when you are down will oftentimes cheer you up in no time.

5.Friends

Sometimes, loneliness can lead to feelings of hopelessness and discouragement because then,you get an opportunity to overthink and worry about things unnecessarily.Hanging out with friends who make you a better person is a great idea.Make sure they are people who don’t make you feel bad about yourself but rather motivate you to be the best version of yourself.

6.Walks

There’s just something about nature that makes us feel alive.Taking walks in the park, along a beach or wherever is another great way to clear your mind and recharge.It gives you a peaceful and quiet alone time to actually meditate, introspect and envision better days ahead of you.

7.Facing your fears

Oftentimes we’ve been told that running away from a problem doesn’t solve anything and that is true.We have to face our problems and fears in order to overcome them.Taking a leap of faith can lead to things we never thought we’d achieve.You have to trust yourself and above all trust in God because you never know how life-changing that one step could be.

Above all else, don’t give up.Don’t stop unless you have achieved your dreams.. and even then, don’t stop!Keep pushing, believing and praying for better days.Remember,it is usually darker when dawn is approaching.Your breakthrough is just one step away!

PRECIOUS

She felt her knees weaken,
Felt the pain deepen,
Her belly almost raptured,
Not a single smile was captured,
She tried to scream out,
But this worsened her gout.

He was happily shopping at the mall,
When he got this alarming call,
He dropped everything right where he was,
And ran like a warrior fighting many wars,
He couldn’t tell how he arrived that fast,
Because all he recalled was how many people hurried past.

He sat with his head in his hands,
Felt as if his tongue was filled with hot sands,
Stood up and paced right and left,
His heart felt like it had a deep cleft,
He saw a doctor coming towards him with a smile,
And he immediately knew his heart had taken an extra mile.

He hurried to her ward,
Like a hero without a sword,
And beside her tired form,
Lay a small figure in a blanket with a figure of a dome,
He took it in his arms and cried,
Couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried.

With a twinkle in his eyes,
And a face of molten ice,
He looked at his lovely wife,
Thanked her for changing his life,
For they had taken a step further,
And henceforth he’d be called a father.

He looked at its tiny pink lips,
And its small figure that would with time grow hips,
At her small blinking eyes,
That would look at him when they played dice,
And because her heart would be like his; spacious,
He had no more time to think about this;and named her Precious.

By Queen Edel

THE POWER OF THE MIND

We have all had our low moments.Times when we felt so discouraged that we wanted to quit whatever it is we were pursuing.Times when we felt so bad about ourselves,when we never felt good enough or pretty enough and when everyone else’s life seemed better than ours.It could have been for many different reasons but one thing is certain,it all started as a thought.

That is true.All these feelings and emotions usually start from one little thought that leads to another then another.Most of the time,the thought is usually a question,’why’.Oftentimes we have asked ourselves why we were not succeeding,why we were betrayed,why we were not noticed,why bad things happened to us;why this,why that.That little three letter question seems to drain more than it seems to.It leads to self-pity,then loss of self-confidence,then hopelessness,stress, depression and even suicidal death.

Why should you ask yourself ‘why’ if you can make a difference?Why compare yourself to people yet you are an original,the only you there will ever be?Why wish things could get better when you can actually do something?Why want a perfect body when we all have our flaws?Why get depressed over things you were not supposed to think about in the first place?Why try to control things you have no control over?

I know this may sound ridiculous or even old-fashioned but I used to be the ‘why me’ kind of person until I learnt to let go and let God.Instead of asking ‘why me’, I am learning to be the best of me I can be and make a difference.Self-pity drains, overthinking and worrying too much does not solve anything and ‘why me’ questions bring hopelessness.

Instead of the negative mindset of trying to outdo others,why not embrace the positive one and work on being the best version of yourself?Instead of crying and complaining ‘why me’,look at yourself in the mirror,smile and ask yourself ‘why not me’.Why not be the change you want to see?

The mind is powerful,take good care of it.Do not allow people’s negative comments about you trigger a negative mindset.Do not let people limit who you can be,see yourself a victor because that is who you really are!Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your ears!

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WHY IS BEING SINGLE SO HARD?

I know we have all asked ourselves this question at some point in life.It might have been intrapersonal or interpersonal but I believe we have tried to find the answers in one way or another.Here’s my own experience being single.

At first, being single was normal because I was just a little girl growing up with her focus on her studies and family.Then in highschool,every girl would talk about their experiences with boys, something I personally hadn’t yet experienced.The first time I was actually approached by a guy was when I was in my final year of highschool.All this time, I hadn’t even fallen in love yet.

After joining university,I was approached by so many guys which surprised me especially since I was attracted to none of them except this one guy whom I ended up dating even though I was still a naive little girl.Life seemed heavenly when I fell in love for the first time.Sadly,we broke up eight months later and for the first time in my life,I didn’t want to be single.After a series of self pity and depression,I decided to focus on my growth and thanks to Christ, everything was made easier.

I would however be lying if I said that I was 100% happy being single.I mean, I thought I did until I saw beautiful couples around me and on the internet.I would always be like,”why am I single?”It’s not that nobody was interested in me,they were.I just wasn’t attracted to any of them.My friends started calling me crazy saying that life isn’t a Disney movie and that I was supposed to choose a guy and relax.That was the problem, I wasn’t seeing who to choose because I wasn’t attracted to any of them!Based on my parent’s rocky marriage,I wasn’t prepared to be in the same situation or even worse.

Therefore, I was torn between not settling for less like my mum always tells me, and choosing someone I wasn’t attracted to.As a Christian who knows the God kind of marriage,I decided to let go and let God.It is still however sad not waking up to a text, spending the whole day without a call and going to bed without a text from someone you love.

Aarrgh! Being single sucks! However,on the brighter side, this is the only time you get to discover yourself,do everything you want and grow without any distractions (except for the constant questions like,”when will I meet my significant other?”).This is the only time you get to chase your goals,work towards your dreams and explore new things.It is the only time you get to have an unlimited and undistracted relationship with God.

I don’t know about you but I have made progress during this rather long period of singleness.The progress makes me proud of myself though the length of this period makes me overthink.I would like to hear your own opinion,story or insights about singleness.Feel free to leave a comment ☺️.

2020,A DARK YEAR

I remember how we all awaited this year with anticipation,
The way fireworks brightened the sky as everyone gave their participation,
People were happy to celebrate that special day with their loved ones,
And the thought of not seeing each other again never crossed their mind even once.

Life went on as usual,
People took it so casual,
Then suddenly the world was covered with darkness,
And every face written with sadness.

Everything ended up locked down,
Everyone was forced to wear some sort of gown,
The experts said it was meant for protection,
Even though the virus was the main cause of conflict and rejection.

Several families ended up broken,
Several times we felt forsaken,
We lost our friends and those we love,
Our property was destroyed and all we have.

Schools got closed,
The economy was paused,
Everything got strained,
And people got drained.

Tears fell after tears.. forming rivers,
People cried and asked the good Lord to forgive us,
We gave up because inspite of all the spiritual hope,
We couldn’t help but begin trusting in running water and soap.

A curfew was enforced from dawn to dusk,
No one was allowed to walk without a mask,
The police over-enforced the law and shot others,
Without caring whether they were children or mothers.

Our only hope now is the good merciful Lord,
We hope He’ll be our shield and sword,
Because it’s evident that we can’t fight this alone,
For we are like flowers that are there today but by tomorrow are gone.

~QnEdel

HURT

Time passed;time flew,
He cursed;he withdrew,
If only he’d known about this early enough,
Then he’d have faced everything with a heart so tough.

He stood;he sat,
His mood;he spat,
This wasn’t like the person he’d put so close,
If he’d known then he’d have closed all the doors.

His heart;it rushed,
His hurt;it gushed,
There’s no way this could be true,
Because deep down he still said,”I love you”

He stared;he winced,
He glared;felt minced,
Life was just so unfair to him,
He felt left in a light too dim.

He rose;he moved,
He froze;then grooved,
He couldn’t afford to be depressed over lost love,
Because his time would come to get the love he yearned to have.

He smiled;then left,
Became mild;yet full of deft,
He knew he had to fight the hurt in every way,
Because after all tomorrow would be a brand new day.


(QnEdel -001)

Introduction

This site is mainly to share ideas on life, fashion,music, creativity, writing, health and wellness.My main aim is to inform,educate, entertain and create awareness on matters that haven’t been given priority in this era.Thanks for joining me in this journey and together, let’s make the world a better place.Don’t forget to leave a comment.

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